— bulandini's stories

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life

“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.”
-Joseph Campbell

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the hurt you embrace becomes joy.
call it to your arms where it can change.

~Rumi

 

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“make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty.”
― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

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Go sing, too loud
Make your voice break- Sing it out
Go scream, do shout
Make an earthquake…

You wish fire would die and turn colder
You wish your love could see you grow older
We should always know that we can do anything

Go drum, do proud
Make your hands ache – Play it out
Go march through crowd
Make your day break…

You wish silence released massive tremors
You wish, I know it, surrender to summers
We should always know that we can do everything

Go do, you’ll learn to
Just let yourself, fall into landslide

Go do, you’ll learn to
Just let yourself, give into low tide

Go do!

Tie strings to clouds
Make your own lake – Let it flow
Throw seeds to sprout
Make your own break – Let them grow

Let them grow (Endless summers)
Let them grow (Endless summers)

(Go do endless summers)

You wish surprise, will never stop wonders
You wish sunrise, will never fall under

You wish surprise, will never stop wonders
You wish sunrise, will never fall under
We should always know that we can do everything

by Jonsi

 

(I haven’t blogged anything since late 2011, and now in the middle of 2013, I feel joy bubbly up inside me, for what Life has given me so far. This song is always invigorating, as if sunshine feels my Heart. I hope it would give you the same feeling too.)

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These past week have been an interesting one.
This and that…
That and this…
Preparing
Singing
Praying
Dancing
Mourning
Meditating
Searching
Writing
Editing
Submitting
Words… Palabras… Kata-kata…
Book of Instructions by NG
Let the Universe does its work
And hope for the best.

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Ah, a year had passed. So many things happened and I am grateful for them. The events and day by day living have made my life full of… life.

These were some of the the special moments in 2010 which I treasure dearly:

  • Performing with Infinito Singers in our 2nd annual concert “Siempre La Musica!”. Singing with Infinito Singers is always the best feeling ever!
  • Saw Imogen Heap concert at Esplanade, Singapore. She was good, good, good! Also the music hall concert was awesome, in interior and acoustic.
  • Went to see “The World of Ancient Egypt”, a special exhibition at National Museum of Singapore. Finally after all these years since my school days, I got to see the real stuffs from ancient Egypt culture! So happy!
  • Went to see “Pixar: 20 years of Animation” exhibition at Singapore Science Center. Saw the original drawings, artworks, etc. The best part was Toy Story 3D figures Zoetroppe! It was amazing and I was glued seeing it on and on and on…
  • Felt very very special on my birthday.
  • Made a short film “Magic to Tragic” with Kelompencapir. Shot only one day from dawn until dusk and the setting was on a metromini bus. We rock, guys!
  • My dearest only sister got married. I am so happy she is happy. Now I have a new brother (in-law).
  • My bestfriend got married. She had a nice private party and the three of us (I, she and N) sang at the end of the party.
  • I enjoy my work and learned a lot from it. Thank you Wunderteam.
  • Met nice new friends at Project Gener8. Plan to make short film with them.
  • Watched Simply Red concert!! Made decision to watch it one hour before the concert began. It was good madness! The concert was their farewell concert and Simply Red has been my fave since my junior high school time. Mick Hucknall sang beautifully.
  • Watched “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1” with a whole bunch of Harry Potter lovers (approx. 600 of us) and I got prize for wearing costume. Yay!
  • Learning Javanese dance for the first time. It took me 22 years for finally deciding to learn it. I am glad I do.
  • Watched the AFF 2010 final match, Indonesia vs Malaysia, at Gelora Bung Karno. The stadion was full RED with supporters and the sight was spectacular. The match was good. We won eventhough we were not the tournament winner. I queued for 12 hours from 5.30 AM to 5.30 PM and it was worth the waiting. Met nice soccer-freaks new friends.
  • Spent the last day of 2010 with my dearest bestfriend, N. 5 hours of walking and seeing around aka ngider-ngider together was fun.

New Year’s Eve was spent at my late grandma’s house. BBQ-ing with families and watched fireworks in our neighborhood. I was happy. Welcome Bright 2011.

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Estoy agradecido por la bendición, porque todavía puedo poder elegir lo mejor, no sólo obtener un “suficiente bueno”, aunque estoy agradecido de la felicidad que había sentido.
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I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they turn your hope apart
As they turn your dreams to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my dreams with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he’d come to me
That we would live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from the hell I’m living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

from Les Miserables

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Sun rays come down as seen when they hit the ground,
Children spinning around till they fall down down down.
I wait for you: it’s been two hours now,
You’re still somewhere in town,
Your dinners getting cold.
I rest my case you are always this late,
And you know how much I hate waiting around ’round ’round,
Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside,
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin’ just a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine.
And then you come and tell me the same reason as you did yesterday,
So tell me whats her name.
Doo doo da dum, doo doo da dum, doo doo doo doo doo doo da da dum dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum.
Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is just getting a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine.

Bitter Heart by Zee Avi

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I’m falling slowly. Not easily.
And when I realize I have fallen,
I find bottomless pit hidden, under me.
And uncertainty/certainty both overwhelm me with their double-egded sword…

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